Caroline Tison

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How long have you been in your current relationship? Care to share your secret?

Is it that you make time for a date night every few weeks? Is it that you share a passion for the same hobby? (No, wine and beer drinking don’t count.)  Or maybe it’s that you live in separate rooms? (Just kidding about that last one!) If you have been with the same person for say, 10, 15, 25 or 50 years, I think we could benefit from your wisdom. So please take a few minutes to share your tips.

For those of you who will be celebrating many years together, what would you say is the main reason you are still together? Is it because you respect your partner so much?

What about humour? What kind of place does it have in your relationship? How much hard work did you dedicate to keeping your relationship alive and kicking for so long?

How important is open and authentic communication in your couple?  And what about love? I am sure you will tell me that you love your partner, but I am curious, is it possible to still be in love with your mate after so many years?

Oh, and I would love to hear from the men as well.

6 comments

  1. By Jennifer Wilson

    “We are most like beasts when we kill, most like men when we judge, most like God when we forgive. “(Author unknown) When we said our “I do’s” twenty-one years ago it was with the expectancy of wedded bliss with a few hard times here and there. There has been a lot of both over the years but our one ‘big secret’ to our successful, and far from perfect, union has been faith. Faith that finding each other wasn’t just a coincidence, faith that there is a purpose greater than just our own ‘happiness’ to our marriage, faith that God could bring us through unimaginable grief (the loss of a child), and faith that there are three of us in this marriage…husband, wife, and a forgiving God. Forgiveness is a crucial component…if we’ve received it freely, how can we refuse to extend it to each other? Albeit maybe not so ‘freely’…it takes work – forgiveness is much more of a choice than a feeling. (By the way, so is love.) We made a choice at the very beginning that divorce would never be an option for us, and have never allowed ourselves to ‘go there’. Although we could never have known what storms of life would blow our way, we did agree that they wouldn’t knock us down. So thankful that we’re not in this alone. Left to our own devices we would have been over a long time ago!

    • By Caroline Tison

      Dear Jennifer,
      Thank you for sharing. Your comments are very interesting and I have to admit they made me stop and reflect. Faith for sure, yes for forgiveness… but I think you really make a great point. CHOICE. As you say, left to your own devices it would have been over a while ago… not to mention how a couple manages to survive the loss of a child. You both made a choice. And a conscious one at that. My Godfather once told me that we always have choices. When we do one thing instead of another, we choose to do this over that. ‘I didnt have time to work out.” really means “I didnt make time to work out… I chose to do something else instead.” When it comes to relationships that last, I think you are right… people make a choice to stay together.

  2. Secret? There is no secret. The question was interesting so I posed it to my husband and “bestie” for the past 30 years at dinner the other night. We both agreed – we’re friends. We aren’t just husband and wife, mom and dad, Baba and Poppies; we are friends. Consider how most people treat their friends and then compare it to how they treat family; you will find an uncomfortable difference.

  3. Over fifty years and still together. (I keep telling her even murderers get off after 25 !)
    Secret ? A sense of humour, separate as well as shared interests; you can’t and shouldn’t think you have to agree about everthing or do everthing together.
    Probably some other things but I forgot.

    • By Caroline Tison

      Hello Peter! Thank you for being courageous enough to comment ! Our only male feedback so far. :) Humour has been added to my list. Your comment about murderers getting off after 25 cracked me up. Too funny!

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