Victor Schukov


The premier and the fly

Perilous Pauline Marois has shown in 100 days that she can be very charming, reasonable and willing to change if something doesn’t rest well with voters. In fact, most of her acts have been reversed the next day, and self-proclaimed as examples of an accommodating premier who is deserving of a majority in the next pop election. She is soooooo nice! Kind of reminds me of a poem by Mary Howitt, The Spider and the Fly (1829). With apologies to Ms. Howitt, here is my version of her classic:

“Will you walk into my lobster pot?” said Pauline to the voter,
“’Tis the prettiest little lobster pot that ever you did go to;
The way into my boiling vat is up a winding stair,
And I’ve a many curious things to stew when you are there.”

 “Oh no, no,” said the voter, “to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair – can ne’er come down again.”

“I’m sure you must be weary, dear, from 101 the Bill;
So here’s a cozy Bill 14 (that’s really just a shill.)
Students will be glad to know, tuition fees are thinned, 
The money comes from booze and smokes and other types of sins.

Said Pauline to the voter, “Dear friend what can I do,
To prove the warm affection I’ve always felt for you? 
I have within my bag of tricks, good store of all that’s nice;
I’m sure you’re very welcome — will you please to take a slice?”

“Oh no, no,” said the voter, “kind Maam’, that cannot be,
I’ve heard what’s in your party, and I do not wish to see!”

“Sweet creature!” said Pauline, “you’re witty and you’re wise,
(How welcome are your dollars) how brilliant are your eyes!
I’ve a little looking-glass inside my lobster pot,
If you’ll step in one moment, dear, you shall behold a lot.”

“I thank you, Maam,” the voter said, “for what you’re pleased to say,
And bidding you good morning now, I’ll call another day.”
Pauline turned round about, and went into her den,
For well she knew the silly fly would soon come back again:

So she wove a subtle web, in a little corner sly,
And set her table ready, to dine upon the fly.

Then she came out to his door again, and merrily did sing,

My plan is fair, I will not dare to have you suffer slings. My gaffes are plain and simple – my flip-flops are for you,
All your votes are equal (until I’m done with you.)

Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little fly,
Hearing her wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by;
With buzzing wings he hung aloft, then near and nearer drew, 
To Pauline’s warming smile and soft and fetching woos.
Thinking her sincerity was nothing but— poor fool!

At last,
Up jumped the premier, and held the voter fast.
She dragged him up her winding stair, to limbo he was cast. 
Within the giant lobster pot — he ne’er came out again!

And now dear little voter, who may this story read, To idle, silly flattering words, I pray you ne’er give heed:
Unto the temporary Premier, close heart and ear and eye,
And take a lesson from this tale, of the Spider and the Fly.


  1. By Bright Ideas

    I agree about the slimy intent but not about the hidden competence. Marois and the PQ are idiot children who are out of their depth. They have minimal experience at running a government, and they saw no reason to train for it in advance. Like a child who says whatever she thinks the adults want to hear, they tell a different story each time they’re asked a question, and they have a sincere belief that the adults won’t compare notes and notice the inconsistencies. And they’ve already been caught more than once with their hands in the money pot, lavishing sleazy rewards on their cronies.
    All the Liberals have to do is come up with a half-decent leader and then bide their time…

  2. By Eggnog Drinker

    Today’s Gazette has survey results: today, the lobsters/flies would vote the PQ into a minority government. We are doomed to fall into the spider’s boiling vat!

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