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Thursday, October 9, 2008

HUNTLEY ADDIE: Forever is a long time to stick with stupid

posted by BOFarrell at 8h02

by Huntley Addie

If you want something badly enough, you just have to stick with it!
I had hoped to never have to write about this again but, as one of my student said: “It’s never gonna change, sir.”
So I find myself trying to recreate a message that I believe needs to be heard.
Any overt, covert, discernable or restrained prejudice of anyone who is obviously, subtly or even unconsciously different is wrong.
Due to my ignoraphobia, which is the fear of ignoring ignorant stupidities linked with ridiculous unfounded and ungrounded prejudices and stereotypes, I have decided to never walk by a prejudiced comment made by someone I am familiar with ever again.
If prejudices are to change, it must start with the rejection of the little comments that lend credence to the said prejudice.
Will a prejudiced person actually listen to what I have to say?
It might be safe to assume that this is doubtful, particularly in the heat of the moment. But at least I know that I’ll be doing what I can rather than walking away wondering about it.
I have been living this way for quite a few years. And what may be surprising to some, is that it actually works, in time. Things do change.
When I coached boys basketball a few years back, I remember the “N-word” flying around casually on and off the court quite comfortably with a few of the players and their friends. Cringing every time I heard it, I told them that I didn’t ever want to hear it out of their mouths again.
Of course, as I was an authority figure who they more or less respected, they obliged. They never really asked why it offended me, though. Thus, they really only stalled on dropping the N-word around me.
Because of that, I was bound to hear it again.
Bound to hear it as I was, it came one day in my car on the way home from a basketball game. Two of my players, who happened to be black, said at the same time: “Sir, just drop us off at KFC; it’s ‘Nigger-Tuesday.’ ”
Thrown, I stopped the car, and told them that the N-word diminishes and devalues the millions who have fought with their lives for equality of consideration.
I couldn’t have cared less which hip-hop artist or stand-up comic thought it was fine to abuse. This small word is just too big for trite use.
At the time, after my history lesson, the boys agreed to at least try and curb their own use of the word. As they got out of the car at the Colonel’s, I saw them look back at me, smiling widely; laughing at their coach. My “concerns” were quite amusing that day, I guess.
Regardless, I still voiced my concerns, and maybe a few things I said would stick – in time.
Interestingly enough, in my experience, the N-word is not dropped nearly as frequently or as casually as it was at the turn of the century.
More recently, during an introductory exercise with all of my English classes another little-big word came into light – or out of the dark.
When one of my students got up to present a scene from the film The Notebook, two boys squirmed and almost shouted, “I hate that movie! It’s so gay!”
To which I retorted: “I’m not sure that this film has anything to do with homosexuality.
“In fact, whether we enjoyed it or not, it is still probably one of the most sincere films about unrequited heterosexual love in recent film history.”
“Sir, the film is gay. It’s just stupid.”
Since this comment was made, I have made it a point in all my classes to speak about overcoming my own ridiculous homophobia during my adolescence, and the subsequent development of my ignoraphobia.
I know that some are not hearing much right now, and that colloquially, it still sadly seems almost popular to say “that’s so gay” when referring to something stupid or bad. But maybe if, collectively, we agree to stop ignoring these little phrases, this might change.
After all, forever is a very long time to stick with something stupid.
Huntley Addie is starting an Ignoraphobia Club at John Rennie High School.
All are welcome.
kathunt@videotron.ca