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Victor Schukov

Victor Schukov

Why gas prices change every five minutes

  It used to be that the price of gas changed once a year. It used to be that someone in attendance would fill up your tank, clean your windshield, check your oil and give you a neck massage for free. Even if he didn’t work there. ...
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Victor Schukov

10 new year's resolutions I can achieve

Most people agree that even if we shortened the calendar to 24 hours, those same people would break and then make the same new year’s resolutions all over again. ...
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Victor Schukov

A Christmas wish

Christmas joke: What did Santa say when he missed a roof, hit a snow bank and piled up the reindeer? ”Off Prancer, off Dancer, off Vixen…” ...
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Victor Schukov

The devolution of Christmas

A few years ago, the governor-general changed the name of Rideau Hall’s Christmas tree to that of “Holiday” tree. A government spokesman then said that this move “reflects the traditions of many cultures.” ...
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Victor Schukov

A drawer of paper clippings reminds me of what is important

For many, rich or poor, the joy of this coming Christmas will be weighed down by a snowballing recession. ...
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Victor Schukov

One day we'll be nothing but small chips

I am a techno-spaz from the old school of users who log off computers by pulling the power cord out of the wall. And when some shocked passer-by screams, “You’re going to burn out the computer!” I reply, “When?” ...
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Victor Schukov

La Belle Provinciale Ferme(iere) (With apologies to Orwell's Animal Farm)

Old farmer Harper sat out on his wrap-around porch on his big fat, prosperous farm and stared at some oil wells in the distance. ...
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Victor Schukov

Yet another type of West Island volunteer group

There are many ways to volunteer your time toward the development of our vibrant West Island. ...
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Victor Schukov

A culture of bad roads

Every culture has its blind spots. For example, Americans don’t know how to make beer and cars. ...
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Victor Schukov

My 10 positive things about the new Montreal logo

Almost 100 per cent of people polled said that they were appalled by the graphics and cost of the seemingly child-scribbled, piñata-coloured new logo for the Montreal region. Then, to aggravate the situation, the nebulous text says,” Greater Montreal...Room to make it real.” Some $487,000 does seems like $486,999 too much to pay for a bloated, lumbering Crayola-violated sausage that, all for the lack of eyes and a snout on the blue part, could look like a nice,...
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